Doug Ford claiming a Ghost is haunting him

Doug Ford hearing the voices again

Doug Ford has had a third exorcism of Queen's Park take place today, after two last month. On the expensive forms, he wrote that they were necessary due to "the presence of a deceased family member who I don't want to talk to". The accountants have been trying to figure out if an exorcism can be expensed since the first one took place on March 5th. "Doug has been arguing they're a necessary expense for his mental wellbeing and protected under his freedom of religion." said Queen's Park accountant Oliver Sallum, "but I think if you have to have 3 of them in the span of a month, either they're not working, or you're seeing things. Either way, you need to try something different."
Doug has refused to comment about the exorcisms, calling them personnel, but we managed to get a hold of Father Dominic Fredrickson, the priest who performed the exorcism on March 20th. "[Doug] seemed quite bothered about the whole thing," Father Fredrickson told us. "He seemed to be under the impression that he was being haunted by a close family member, and apparently not one he would have liked to have around. He said the spirit was acting just as they had in life, and that it was causing him no end of distractions, so he wanted us to get rid of it. We had already tried two weeks before, but he insisted it hadn't worked and the spirit was still haunting him. So we tried again. He said at the time that it seemed to work, but then today he called us complaining about the spirit being back, so he wanted a refund and would be taking his business elsewhere. We were saddened to hear all that, but it happens sometimes. Some people are just strongly haunted by their past. I do believe we would have been able to do more from Mr. Ford if he'd been willing to tell us more about the spirit, but he didn't want to talk about those particulars and that it 'shouldn't make any difference to us'. We did try to explain to him there are different levels of spirits and haunting, as well as their reasons for returning, I even had my copy of Tobin's Spirit Guide with me to show him some examples, but he just wanted to give us money and have the problem go away, which isn't a healthy outlook. Dealing with most spirits requires some sort of discussion between the haunted and haunter, since they've come back for a reason. Until Mr. Ford does so, I don't believe he will be free of this ghost from his past."
The new firm Doug has contracted, Edwards' Express Exorcisms, has declined to comment about the situation, citing client confidentiality, although accountant Oliver says that they're trying to charge for regular weekly exorcisms of Doug's office. "His staff has been talking about how much he's been muttering to himself lately," Oliver told us. "They think he's being haunted by his brother Rob, which wouldn't surprise me. Rob was the one who wanted Doug to keep running for office, he thought there should be a Ford in every driveway, quite literally, I think he mistakenly believed his family owned some part of the car company, but I digress. Doug's never had the charisma Rob had, so he's never been close to being as liked as his brother was, but Doug was also smarter than Rob, but that's not a high bar to clear, so it's no surprise he's having problems, especially with Scheer getting in his face these days. So I'm guessing he isn't actually being haunted, but instead is having his stress manifest as representations of his dead spotlight stealing brother. Doug seemed happy to be the brains behind the operation to Rob's billboard personality, so maybe he's seeing his brother to bring back those memories, except he can't embrace them cause he knows his brother is dead. The only thing that would make it worse would be if those rumors he arranged to have his brother killed for bringing such negative attention to the family were true. Either way, I don't see Doug dealing with it soon, he's a stubborn one after all."
If you have any details or theories about the Haunting of Doug Ford, let us know dear readers. We'll be keeping our PKE Meters on and our Proton Packs charged encase we encounter any ghosts ourselves, so keep refreshing the page to keep the spirits at bay!