Doug Ford and Jason Kenney celebrating their completely platonic relationship while trying to hide erections over all the money oil companies are going to give them
Albertans have been so swayed by Jason Kenney's ability to do highly illegal things, get embroiled in scandals and support racists and bigots running in his party they have elected to make his the new Albertan Premier. We were able to get some comments last night from people celebrating the news.
"I voted for him because I thought it was funny how he thought the oil industry literally milked dinosaurs to get gas, I'm looking forward to more stuff like that," said Dillan Henson, a Keyano College student.
"I voted for him because he said he could make more oil here so that oil production would last longer and produce more, and reversing the NDP's meddling to make gas produce the greenhouse gases that cause global warming," said truck driver Cora Hammond.
"I voted for him because my husband said we should, and I trust my husband," said housewife Cecelia Mathis.
"I voted for him because prosecuting politicians for corruption is very profitable for my business, and I believe with him in control there will be a lot of things worth prosecuting UCP members for," said federal prosecutor Richard Cox.
"I voted for him because he's supporting politicians who want to keep Alberta pure for people like me, which will help us make Canada great again," said linen enthusiast James-John Maloney.
"I voted for him because he's pro-racism and turns a blind eye to hate crimes, which will make it easier for me and the boys to engage in our job," said professional Neo-Nazi Joseph Himmler.
"I voted for him because he said he was the best choice and that Rachel Notley is a woman, which sounded like a good argument to me," said cashier Ammar Sharma.
"I voted for him because he said he'd keep Alberta's taxes the lowest in the country and still fund everything that needs funding, so if he does that it'll be worth it," said the unemployed Malcolm Mercer.
"I voted for him because he's going to lower minimum wage, which means I can pay my workers less," said cleaning service manager Luke Feeney.
"I voted for him because I always vote conservative, even if I don't like them, I have too," said retired Kevin Lawson.
Those are just some of the responses we received last night, as the rest were not fit for public sharing due to unsavory, hateful or violent language. If you have any opinions on the Alberta Election, share them below.
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