Jason Kenney thanks racist and bigots for filling out UCP candidacies with All White Gift Baskets

Doug Ford and Jason Kenney showing off their favorite hood shape at a Paleskin Power Rally

Jason Kenney, leader of the United Conservative Party of Alberta has been personally thanking racists and bigots for being UCP candidates in the runup to the vote in Alberta on April 16th. So far over a third of UCP's 87 candidates have publically proclaimed themselves to be racist, bigots, both, or more, and not resigned or been immediately driven out of Alberta.
Mark Smith, the UCP candidate for Drayton Valley, who has served as Kenney’s UCP education critic and calls himself a close personal friend of Kenney's "that go on long Men's Retreats together to remote parts of Alberta to look for salmon and just spend time together being men", has been promoting the idea that homosexuality and pedophilia should be considered on the same level. Smith has refused to clarify if he meant that homosexuality should be outlawed or that pedophilia should be legalized, but Kenney has stuck by Smith, saying that he "stands by either change of the law, and will continue to stand behind him as I always do whenever we're together."
David Dorward, the UCP candidate for Edmonton–Gold Bar, has gone on the record criticizing laws his own government passed when he was a member of the PCs, claiming that gender-inclusive bathroom policies allowed random adult men to wander into schools and lurk in girls' washroom. When it was pointed out that this would be a criticism of school security if there was any validity to his claims, and not in fact related to the gender-inclusive policy at all despite his bigoted attempts to present it as such, he promised to attempt what he was theorizing himself to prove it was possible and has since been escorted away from over a dozen schools since. Kenney has not only stood beside Dorward, but encouraged this behavior as "he can't be proven wrong no matter how much he tries."
Shane Getson, the UCP candidate for Lac Ste. Anne–Parkland, has spent the majority of his campaign spouting far-right conspiracy theories he finds on Facebook, the most outrageous of which was a claim that the United Nations would be seizing control of Canada's border unless he was elected. When numerous people correctly pointed out that the UN wasn't doing that, let alone couldn't since they had no legal authority or military to do so, and even then that would be a federal issue, Kenney came to Getson's defense saying that it was a "legitimate perspective that more people should try to embrace, and it would be more in line with the UCP mindset."
Not all of UCP's candidates have been lucky enough to run in ridings that tolerate hate speech the way some ridings do. One of Kenney's personal picks, Caylan Ford, resigned from her candidacy in Calgary-Mountain View on the first day of the election after evidence of her support for white supremacist was reveal. Ford later said that if she hadn't been running in a Calgarian riding the revelation wouldn't have mattered, as "backwater Albertans know how to keep things pure." While Kenney condemned her comments at the time, he made sure she knew she was still a member of the party, and she has been working behind the scenes on the UCP's election efforts since, even receiving one of Kenney's Gift Baskets.
These are just some of the more prominent racists and bigots to come out during this election, but a longer list detailing just the still running UCP members who have proudly revealed themselves to be bigots and racist can be found here.
Kenney, however, seems particularly glad to have these people among his peers, which hasn't surprised anyone who has followed his career, since Kenney has repeatedly tried to block constitutional rights to LGBTQ+ people, claiming that it would "open the door to allowing [constitutional rights] to those that also commit polygamy and incest." When it was recently pointed out to him that while polygamy and incest are illegal, those people already have the same rights as anyone else in Canada and that rights are different from things regulated by laws, Kenney dismissed this as it being "what they want you to think," and refused to elaborate on what that meant, instead wanting to focus on his campaign of congratulations. This campaign of his has been to thank the UCP candidates that have been "unfairly discriminated for their views that minorities are bad people and bad for us. I've been calling them one by one to give them my thanks and let them know I was sending them each one of my patented 'Straight White Gift Basket'. It contains a white sheet with a 500 thread count made from hand-picked cotton, matching a white hood, a stylish red and black armband, and a torch! It all makes for the perfect outfit for occasions where you really want to celebrate your heritage, and I'm sure many Albertans will be showing off the whites when the UCP is voted in next week! Thanks Alberta!"
Do you have any fashion advice for politicians about to face an election? Let us know below!

Doug Ford closing addiction support resources to bring back clients to his main business

Doug Ford trying to stare down a reporter for daring to ask questions

Doug Ford has been continuing his "overhaul" to health services in Ontario by closing several overdose prevention sites and giving them a few days to pack up. Doug has so far refused to comment about his action despite calls from medical professionals, emergency responders, and the public at large for these sites to remain open because they save lives and help addicts recover and get sober, but those close to Doug say that his reasons are more personal. It has been reported that Doug is fervently against these sites for two reasons, the first out of fear that his family members will be seen at one of these sites, and the second that these sites have been undercutting Doug's main business by removing his long term clients.
The Ford family has had a long history with drug addiction. Eldest sibling Kathy Ford has a long going relationship with drug addiction, with rumors that she started drinking and doing hard drugs in high school, and has been involved in several incidents revolving around drugs, including letting known drug dealers live with her and sell drugs from the Ford Family home. Despite this she has reportedly never sought help with her addiction, unlike the youngest Ford sibling, the infamous Rob Ford. Rob Ford gained worldwide notoriety after he became "The Crack Mayor of Toronto" when a video of him smoking crack cocaine surfaced. As Rob had spent nearly a year denying he had ever taken any hard drugs before being forced to reveal he'd been lying, his family forced him to go to rehab in order to redeem his public image, and while he managed a brief rehab course, he passed from cancer before he completed any long term rehabilitation. Given the public humiliation the Ford family suffered from the later incident, and how it thrust them onto the global stage in a negative light, it is speculated that Doug has a dislike for services that shine a light on addiction due to reminding him of these negative events he'd rather have suppressed.
The other reason people think Doug is shutting down addiction support services is due to the rumors that the Ford family has been in the drug business since the 80s, with Doug as the ring leader, and that he hates services that helps addicts get clean, reducing his potential clients. The Ford family was the main supplier of hashish in Etobicoke in the 80s before expanding to other drugs, using various means to maintain that position, to the point where the eldest brother, Randy Ford, ended up being convicted in a drug related kidnapping. The Fords managed to keep the incident out of the news at the time, but the siblings have kept those that worked with them in drug trafficking close, even bringing them aboard their political campaigns. Rob Ford in particular employed numerous individuals known to the police, something the police themselves publicly called a concern, and so many suspected drug dealers work at Deco Labels and Tags, the the Ford family business, that many Etobicoke residents joke that it's little more than a front for drug trafficking these days.
They are reportedly not surprised that Doug is against anything that bring addiction to the public light, as an Etobicoke residence who wished to remain anonymous said that "it makes it harder to do all that business you can only do in the shadows, and Doug Ford has always been the shadowiest of people. He was his brother's shadow up until he died, and now he'll always be in Rob's cracked shadow. I think he's still got that old school mindset, that these sites that are trying to help people are actually his competition, and they're taking away his customers. He's not stupid, he knows that getting elected to such high positions in politics is fickle, it can swing back and forth, so he's probably trying to make things easier for the Ford family business in the long term by closing down these things that help people get away from drugs."
All of these are reportedly factors in Doug Ford's closing of overdose prevention sites and addiction support services, and as soon as Doug Ford reveals what he's doing we'll report on it here, but given the Ford family's history of dishonesty, don't hold your breath.

Andrew Scheer racks up millions in fines violating Do Not Call List with mass texts

Andrew Scheer trying to explain to a robocall that his ducts are fine, it's his clock that needs cleaning

Did you get a text message yesterday from an Emma, Sue or Karen telling you about the new law coming into effect on April 1st and how you should support the oil industry before it comes into effect? Did you find it annoying and wish the people who did it got punished? Well good news! The Conservative Party of Canada has racked up $2.1 million in fines after Andrew Scheer directed his party to send out the text messages, because it turns out mass sending unsolicited texts to Canadians violates clauses in the National Do Not Call List.
The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission was apparently geared up to issue the fine as soon as the Conservatives sent out the messages. "It was really stupid to announce ahead of time that they were going to do this," said Pablo Rodríguez, Minister of Canadian Heritage and overseer of the CRTC. "Everybody knew as soon as they said it that it was probably a violation of something, and the people at the CRTC immediately got to work figuring how exactly, but the fact that they were able to use the Do Not Call List after it had been such a failure, that was brilliant. I'm sure Scheer didn't see it coming, especially not a few hours after it got sent out. That's how prepared they were, they had all the paperwork ready to go, they just needed the actual messages and numbers they sent them from. As soon as they had that figured out, it was an easy process of pulling up all the numbers they'd sent messages too and cross referencing them with numbers on the DNCL, and bang, they've got them."
The Conservatives have so far refused to talk about the fines, no doubt for fear of making their actions more known to the public since they attempted to make the messages look to be from ordinary citizens. Or perhaps Scheer doesn't want his extremely generous donors knowing what he's had to spend their money on. But those are just this writer's speculations. If any Conservatives do comment or there are any more developments, we'll let you know dear readers, so refresh your page every few minutes for the latest updates!