The current Time Chamber Prototype, without the "patented pending time radiators" installed
The Knights Party public relations department announced today that they have made significant progress with the development of a Time Machine. "We are pleased to announce that we here in the Knights Party's Time Machine Making Clan have made a Time Machine that can go forward in time!" Department manager Billy-Rae Bobbett announced. "Thanks to the work of our head scientist, Doctor Rickenbacker, we've been able to successfully travel forward in time. I have gone forward a few hours 3 times so far, it's great for skipping over boring parts of the day. The Doctor, he designed and build this time chamber that you shut yourself in, oh, but you've got to remember to take these special drugs to protect yourself from the time radiation you'll be exposed to. So you shut yourself in the chamber, you'll travel through time and then be a couple hours in the future. Time traveling kind of feels like a dream, and you might have visions of other times and stuff, but you do feel well rested afterward. So far we haven't had the best control of how many hours into the future you go, but we're confident we can get better with more testing, and once we've got going forward in time down, it should be easy figuring out how to go backward."
"We've been working on making a Time Machine for nearly a few years now, so we can go back in time and relive the glory days like the Confederacy. We came up with the idea after Trump said he wanted to Make America Great Again, why do that when you can just go back to when it was great? We've always been good at keeping the past in the present, but just think of how grand it would be if you can go back to the Slavery days, to the Confederacy, before Segregation, that's at least 3 places to go and experience the good old day, and we want to get there first before all the other time travelers show up and it gets crowded, so we've got to invent it first. And the Doctor, he's been working for folks like us for a long time, and after we made him an offer he couldn't refuse, he agreed to work on the time machine. Before him we weren't having much progress, mostly 'cause it was just me and Mark testing out guns shotting microwaves and other time stuff to see if that did anything. Some of it blew up real good, we made lots of notes on that kind of stuff for when we need to blow other stuff up, but the Docter explained what we were doing wrong. Well, he tried at least, me and Mark didn't understand all too much of it, Mark not as much as me, so we just told him to do what he needed to do and we'd get him what he needed. You should talk to him about it, he's over there in the corner behind the wood stock rifle rack. He loves getting in behind stuff like that and hide away from people, reminds me of a hamster I had as a kid. And a dog, and a cat, and a lizard too. I went through a lot of animals." Billy-Rae said before drifting off in thought and not answering any more questions.
"Yes, I am Doctor Rickenbacker. I came to work, or razer my grandfazer came to work in America after ze war, you know ze one. I, we have always been men of science, and zese, uh, how to say, fine young men, zey have also been interested in science. Billy-Rae can talk endlessly about ze composition of animals like you would not believe, I keep zinking he'll run out at some point, but no, he just keeps going and going like zat rabbit. And Mark, he knows all about ze aliens zat have visited ze Earth, all 254, because mankind is ze 255th zat will unite zem all and fulfill an unspoken grand destiny. Zat is what he keeps telling me at any rate. But I listen, because zey are men of science, and have generous benefactors zat help fund my, our research. And zey have guns, lots of guns zat zey are firing behind the lab constantly, saying zey have to keep practicing... but zey have ze guns so I listen!" Doctor Rickenbacker proceeded to laugh awkwardly for several minutes after this before regaining his composure. "You ah, you haven't figured out how ze chamber work have you? Billy-Rae, he talks a lot, and it would be bad if he, let somezing slip, da?" After being reassured that Billy-Rae had not revealed the technology behind how the chamber works, Doctor Rickenbacker seemed much more at ease. "I was honestly not expecting anyone to show up for zis press conference, most people know the place to be with ze Ku-less is out of range. You don't have someone point a gun at you, do you? Don't answer that, I zink it would be better to not know. We all have zings we have to keep to ourselves yes? I wish you luck with your article."
No other officials of the Knights Party were willing to speak on the record, so we'll just have to wait to see what other claims people make, time related or otherwise. If you find yourself in a time and place you're not familiar with, let us know, as soon as you can, it'll make for an interesting article.
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