Donald Trump signing a Bible in Alabama
During a visit to tornado damaged Alabama Donald Trump was asked to sign some Bibles, something he was all to happy to do. However, it has come to light that these people aren't doing so out of admiration for Trump's Christian values, but in fact because of Trump's values are so far from Christian. David Oyster, one of the people who got Trump to sign a Bible, told reporters that "This is kind of a screw you to God. Like he keeps bringing tornadoes down on us even though we're good people, so we decided that if God isn't going to respect us, we aren't going to respect him, and we figured the best way to do that was to get his good book signed by someone who's openly broken all 10 commandments."
"And Trump, he's an cheating liar and bigot, and a bunch of other things that aren't polite to repeat in mixed company, so we figured there wouldn't be a greater screw you to God than getting Trump to sign the Holy Bible. After all, if God didn't strike Trump down for all his cheating, then what the heck is he doing?" Oyster concluded before storming off angrily.
We've reached out to Heaven for a comment, and will update you when we get their reply.
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