Doug Ford hires North Korean loyalty enforcer to monitor MPPs

Doug Ford before his announcement

Doug Ford announced today that in order to enforce the loyalty goals he has set out for Ontario MPPs, including mandatory clapping anytime he speaks and ignoring any of his contradictions, he has hired a North Korean loyalty enforcer. Ford spoke at the announcement "We are proud to announce closer ties to North Korea, thanks to the bridges Donald Trump has build, with the hiring of Kim Son-Won. Kim is one of North Korea's top loyalty enforcers and will be aiding me knowing where the loyalties of Ontario MPPs is and if any of them need to be investigated by the OPP for attempting to go against my wishes."
North Korea has been trying to build closer ties with western nations in the past few years, succeeding in arranging a few meeting with Donald Trump and getting him to give them concessions without having to give up anything, which garnered them some praise from China and Russia. It appears that this also drew the attention of Doug Ford, who reached out to North Korea not long after being elected Premier of Ontario hoping to acquire some first hand knowledge of North Korea's loyalty enforcement systems, one of the strongest such systems in the world. It seems that Ford was not only successful in making connections with North Korea, but was able to get them to lend one of their enforcers to help build Ford's loyalty in the MPPs. Not much is know about Kim Son-Won beyond having worked as a loyalty enforcer in North Korea for the past decade and comes highly recommended from top North Korean officials. He has so far not accepted any requests for interviews, but we'll keep reaching out.
MPPs have so far all had similar comments, saying they were "happy they no longer had to concern themselves with freewill," and were "looking forward to blindly following supreme leader Ford's desires." Some MPPs have even been swept away to newly created "loyalty camps" in Northern Ontario to help them learn how to be loyal to Doug Ford even faster. So far no reporter has been given access to these loyalty camps, but they reportedly offer a lot of physical activity and movie watching, which sounds like quite the camp to this reporter.
If we are able to gain access to one of these camps or an interview with the new enforcer, we'll let our readers know, so stay tuned.