Doug Ford says "learning about politics" to blame for student protests

Doug Ford laughing at students while Environment Minister Rod Phillips looks on

Doug Ford is angry at students for their ongoing protests over his cuts to education. "These kids shouldn't be learning about politics," he said in speech today, "they're too young to learn about those kinds of things. Just like how they're too young to learn about their bodies. Kids these days are just too young to learn about real world problems, so they should be happy I'm making it easier for them, that I'm taking them back to basics. Things like sex and politics, they're too complicated for kids! Kids shouldn't be learning about complicated things, they should be learning about simple things, like numbers and animals. Those are really simple, 2 and 2 are 4, cows go moo, that's the kind of stuff kids should be learning about. It's the kind of stuff I learned about after all, and look at how I turned out!"
When asked what he planned to do in response to the province wide student protest planned for April 4th, Ford replied "I'm going to have the OPP out in full force. These kids say it's a peaceful protest, but we all know how quick protests turn violent, so I'm arranging for a full display of force to remind students of their place. I'll be giving the OPP full authorization to us lethal force, just encase some of those kids bring weapons like I would."
Doug Ford then left to go to his next appointment as people tried to ask him more questions. We'll keep our readers updated as we learn more.